"Some of you might think that the information I share with you herewith is a joke. It's not. And comprehending this, in fact, may take a large portion of patience, understanding, and compassion. You are likely, in fact, to need a long time to fully process it."
|My story is like I wrote in my bio, I always felt I am not who I am, I had a lot female nature's, and was always dreaming of a "miracle" that will change me, due to the fact that until the age of 20 (a year ago) I didn't know that it exists a way of doing it in nature.r thinking that way, something that a lot of people in my community do believe that if you are leaving the community life than you have a mantel disorder), so from the age of 14 I was looking |
I didn't had any education outside my insular religious community, not even reading or spelling a word in English! (I learned the ABC's on my own by the age of 20..., I know it sounds unbelievable, and I grew up in NYC, if you are interest, here is an org. in NY that helps people leaving my community, so you can see on your own that it exist such a community in nyc footstepsorg.org) and of course I didn't know anything about LGBTQ at all.
but, I was always looking for "help" I felt something is missing in my life, and I wasn't able to know what is missing, about my sexuality I was convinced that something is wrong with me for even thinking about a gender change, but what I did know was that could be the true way of living my life is not the way I grew up (and I was smart enough not to think that I am crazy fofor answers on the questions I had on the belief system I grew up to believe in, and slowly I came to the conclusion that the world is free, and waiting for me to go out and live my OWN life.
mean while, by the age of 17 I got married in an arranged marriage, that by chance worked out, and I have a really good relationship with my dear wife, (sounds like I am a lesbian..) but the second she will know what's going on in my mind she will leave me, and 2 years ago I had a son.
and here I found it.
once I was a bit out, and I was able to search the web, I noticed, and I came to know that it does exist such a thing as transgender, and specially transsexual, in other words its possible for me to change all the way, and have the life and "body" I want, and feel I need.
but after all the way I grew up for 20 years wasn't rejected so fast, and for a year, although I was thinking about it, and I watch a huge amount of clips and vlogs from trans people, and I spent a lot of time reading about it, I still had an unexplained feeling that didn't let me say to my self, yes, you are transgender, and after all I wasn't sure that I am, I was saying to my self that maybe its just a natural male attraction to women, etc.
until I found this site: http://heartcorps.com/
but where? what's my next step? before I make a life time conclusion I need to make sure I am not fooling myself, I am still living in my community, where such an act will mean for me to lose "everything", from family to friends, my job and living space, where I am going what am I doing?
on education I found the above mentioned org., but on my sexuality who can help me?
and then I found this site.
I still don't know where my life will lead me' but it will definitely lead me to huge changes in "everything", and hopefully to huge success!!!